DEPARTED FROM
Kolkata, India
ARRIVED IN
New York City, New York
YEAR
2013
AGE
29
What made you immigrate to the United States?
After our marriage, my husband had been to the U.S. on several short work assignments. He had even lived in New Jersey for a short while as a paying guest with a beautiful and kind family of Indian immigrants. Along the way, he received multiple opportunities for more long–term onsite projects, but he declined them due to personal circumstances. Finally, when he was asked again in 2013, we decided to make the move. It was a huge decision for us – moving into a new country with our 7–month–old baby daughter in our arms with no family or friends nearby!
How was the journey to the U.S.?
It all started with our first flight (Kolkata to London) being terribly delayed. We were switched to an alternate route via Doha, but to our dismay, that flight also got delayed. We were promised that we would be booked on the next available connecting flight at Heathrow Airport, and we would reach our final destination soon enough!
However, things didn't happen as planned at Heathrow Airport. We finally arrived in London at around 10:00 P.M. and were told that the earliest connecting flight was only the next morning. We were put up in a lavish hotel close to Heathrow Airport and were even given free passes to go sightseeing in the city! This was my first–ever overseas trip and I was super excited to be in one of the most important and busiest cities of the world – London, United Kingdom.
However, when we checked into our hotel room and laid our daughter on the king–size bed, we were too exhausted. I still vividly remember all of us sleeping the whole night in the same pose until the wee hours of the morning! We only toured London in our dreams that night, weary and tired after the long journey.
Finally, when we safely landed in New York City a day later than planned, we learned that our baggage was also delayed. It eventually took 5–6 days for our bags to be delivered to our residence! So, to put it mildly, it was a very eventful journey! But I was determined to roll with the punches, as I had already committed to life's adventure ride!
What were the first few days like?
My husband had a surprise for me when we reached New Jersey – he had rented an apartment a few weeks earlier before coming to India to escort us to the U.S. He likened it to taking his new Princess and the slightly older one to their new palace (the older one having been his Princess for 11 years since our engineering college days). I never thought we would have our own place so early.
As a first–time mother, being completely unversed in the world of parenting, it was quite a challenge to take care of my daughter on my own while my husband went from New Jersey to New York City and worked late hours. I was thankful that all the women in my family back in India – my mother, grandmother, mother–in–law and other female family members and friends – had sent along kitchen utensils/cutlery, lots of Indian spices, homemade pickles/snacks, Ayurvedic medicines, and so many other kitchen accessories that would aid me. In fact, I remember how they had insisted that I carry two pressure cookers – one for us and a mini cooker to cook homemade baby food. They had also sent along lots of baby items for the tiniest member of the family, whom they all considered the apple of their eyes!
My first few days in that new apartment were spent living on store–bought food or hotel food. We then started getting groceries from the local stores. I was amazed and relieved to see so many Indian vegetables, fruits, and groceries being so easily available in this part of the U.S. I remember how I used to initially boil milk from the cartons before using it! I also spent time getting used to the electric gas stove and marveling at the size of the big oven, having been used to the smaller OTGs in India. Eventually, I mastered baking goodies for my little one!
The apartment had a beautiful small backyard where I used to play with my little one, rock her to sleep in her stroller, sing to her, do my Riyaz (Hindustani classical singing), work out, and sometimes sit and think about how much I missed my parents. Thankfully, I got to know my neighbors quite well – on the top floor of our apartment lived some Asian immigrant students who had come to the U.S. for higher education.
Was the move to the U.S. a big adjustment?
I was brought up in a humble, middle–class Indian home. My parents supported me and my sister in all our decisions and raised us as independent and capable individuals. So I was always self–sufficient as a kid and I was used to doing everything on my own – right from running around municipal buildings to get my domicile and other certificates done in Mumbai to taking different entrance examinations like IIT–JEE, IIIT, and REC entrance exams. I learned a lot from those challenging experiences. I also left my home and kin much earlier in life than most of my peers when I decided to go to Bengaluru from Mumbai to study engineering – with my family’s full backing! In Bengaluru, I lived with my extended family (i.e., my grandfather and maternal uncles), for the first two years of college. I then moved to the newly built on-campus girls’ hostel and started living on my own. It was during my engineering college years that I met my future husband. We then got married and lived on our own for several years before we had our daughter. So, the move to the U.S. just felt like another transition in a constantly evolving journey!
Put differently, the never–say–die attitude of Mumbai that is embedded in my soul, the experiences of living in a cosmopolitan neighborhood both during childhood and for 12 years in Bengaluru, those rocky–road hostel days, and a 'jugaadu' mindset (life-hack/DIY alternatives) helped me take care of my little baby, make new friends, and get used to the neighborhood in a completely unfamiliar environment. In fact, these traits help every day even after having lived in the U.S. for over a decade!
What were some memorable experiences you had as you were settling down in the first few months?
There are so many wonderful memories from those first days in the U.S.! I would love to visit the public library, watch movies in the park, play at the water splash pads, and visit New York City over the weekends. As we slowly began discovering the plethora of restaurants and stores selling Indian produce, fabrics, jewelry, and other stuff in the New York and New Jersey areas (such as at the India Square in Jersey City, Oak Tree Road of Edison, or even Jackson Heights of New York City), we started missing living in India a tad bit lesser day by day. My joy knew no bounds when I discovered that we could have the world–famous 'happus mango' (the kind of mangoes from Ratnagiri, Maharashtra), welcome Ganpati Bappa into our homes during Ganesh Chaturthi the same way as we did in India, indulge in fireworks and diyas during Diwali, and go pandal–hopping and do the 'Dhunochi' dance during Durga Puja just as we did while in India! I also got a chance to dedicate some time to learning Rabindra Sangeet and reading and writing in the Bengali language (something I am very proud of, not having spoken in Bengali before meeting my husband).
So, fast–forward 11 years from that first day in New Jersey to today, and there are several wonderful milestones I can look back to. We expanded my family, being blessed with another daughter – a permanent friend for life to the elder one, and I was able to resurrect my IT career after a long hiatus (I couldn't work early on due to the lack of a work permit). We moved into a home of our own – in our first 'owned home' in Edison. My family and I have been truly blessed to chase our American dream!
Most recently, the COVID–19 pandemic, on the one hand, reinforced several self–hygiene practices like washing hands after getting back home and maintaining social distancing – while on the other hand, it quietly distanced families and friends for a long period of time. Today, as life gets back to normal and all the in–person get-togethers and meets restart, I reflect on how this difficult phase taught not only the world but also my small family how to be much more resilient, patient, and determined. More importantly, we learned the importance of love, positivity, and teamwork when chasing both short–term and long–term goals! The pandemic has really taught all of us beautiful lessons in life and how to cherish each and every precious minute of life and relationships!
Looking back on your Initial days, what advice would you give to the new immigrants arriving in the United States today?
My message/advice to anyone working on chasing their American dream is to just follow their heart and keep striving! With hard work and dedication, nothing is impossible in this country.
Some things might take extra effort. You just need the right attitude and determination. For instance, developing a social network – your own special 'crew' – definitely does take a little more time here in today's world, especially after the powerful pandemic! There will be times when you might even have a stumble and will have to start again. Something that worked for a friend or acquaintance may or may not work for you. But things will eventually fall into place and start working for you – as long as you stay positive – just as you did when you first landed here to start a new life.
Work hard, party harder, and if Plan A does not work, there's always B, C, D..... (25 more letters of the alphabet, 270 in Japanese ;)) !
